Same story, different people - husband using meth

Lubie

Same story, different people :(

Hi, My husband and I have a seven year history of me being naive and him being sneaky and very creative in hiding his problem. Long story short, two kids and a few years of mini-hell's later I finally understand what is going on and the more I read the more sense things make. I was so confused about why our relationship was getting so bad, now I get it. I always knew there was something going on, but I thought he was bipolar. We had many conversations about it as a matter of fact. I finally somewhat found out last year that him using meth might be a possibility. I couldn't believe it at the time it was such a horrible thought to me, so I completely dismissed that as his problem, although I thought way in the back of my mind that I would be smart to keep an eye out just in case. A few weeks ago I walked in the laundry room and there was something blocking the door. I moved it out of the way so that I could open the door all the way and there was my husband trying to hide something from me. I asked him what he was doing, still not understanding what I was seeing, and he started babbling some weird gibberish that confused the hell out of me. I was trying to look around him to see what he was doing and he kept blocking my view. I finally saw something covered up with a paper towel and instantly remembered the glass pipes I had found the year before. I decided at that moment the best thing to do was play stupid and walk out of the room, which is what I did.

Since then I have gone through just about every emotion a person can feel. Shock, broken heart, sadness, betrayal, anger, pity you name it. I have told a few people that are close to me who I trust because I am trying to decide what the best course of action is to take on this and I'm trying to make sure beyond a doubt that this is what he is doing. When I confronted him last year after I found those pipes he was adamant that he wasn't doing anything like that and insisted that those were from a long time ago and he never got rid of them. I don't know much about this drug, I'm from the East Coast and never knew anyone who did this before I moved to Colorado.

Since a few weeks ago I have been reading everything I can to make sure this is what he has been doing. He has some of the signs but not all which I understand is possible because everyone reacts differently and it depends on the amounts he's doing.

Let me just say that I can tell immediately when he is altered, it takes one glance in his direction and I can tell it was just that in the past I didn't know it was because of a drug so it would confuse me. Now that I know or am pretty sure anyway, I write down every time I see that look on his face. I suspect he must not be doing a huge quantity of it because he is able to work every day. He forces himself to sleep although I can tell that he's barely sleeping and he can hear everything when he makes himself sleep. He also makes himself eat when he's doing it, but he doesn't eat as much as when he's not doing it.

He has patterns of doing this and has had these patterns for as long as I have known him and we've been together. He seems to vary on the time depending on what's going on but now he is what I call "jiggy" (messing around in the garage and doing his laundry) for about two days and after that he sleeps from the moment he gets home from work until he has to go back again for about three days. Then he has a day or two of being a real pain, like staying in our room all the time being gassy and stinking...omg, nasty too and thinking he's the funniest person in the world. These are the days when he gets mean, yells if people wake him up and goes nuts if our girls are fighting or anything like that and these are the days when he has a hard time sleeping for any length of time, he can only do it in spurts. Then it's back to the jiggy thing and the same pattern over and over. Occasionally he doesn't do it for two weeks, but mostly now it's once a week.

.Gets jiggy for at least two days.
.Sleeps all the time for at least three days.
.Builds weird crap in the garage.
.Fixes things around the house only when he's "jiggy".
.His eyes are dilated sometimes, but not every time.
.Gets very moody when he's crashing.
.Gassy...gawd yuck
.Heartburn after about three days of crashing.
.Picks at his skin, but not enough to leave marks.
.Never hangs out with anyone anymore, has no friends that I ever see.
.Doesn't play the guitar anymore which he used to love to do, was his favorite thing.
.He fells very hot sometimes, like he's on fire on the inside.
.I can feel his heart racing sometimes and even see it beat through his chest when he lays down.
.Eats a ton of candy right after his crashes, anything sweet but especially ropes, twizzlers and that kind of thing.

I know there's more but I can't think of anything else right now. Amway, the reason I'm posting is that I have a friend of mine who I told what I suspect about this and she was over the other day when it was day 1 of jigginess. I said "Look at him, he's high" and she called me yesterday and told me that he didn't look high to her because his eyes weren't dilated. I know he was high, I can always tell and she's right his eyes weren't dilated but they aren't always. I'm not sure why and that confuses me, but I know for sure that he was high on something. For one thing, other than just knowing by his face was the fact that he fixed our camper and he would never do that normally, he would be in bed. His eyes were dilated the next day he was doing it which was yesterday. So I know that the next thing that will happen is that he will come home from work tonight and take a shower and go straight to bed.

Oh, the other thing she said is that his face isn't broken out and they always always have face break outs from the poisons and toxins in the stuff, is this true? Because his face has never been broken out...maybe just one or two zits once in a while that's it. His teeth aren't rotted either, he actually takes very good care of himself in the grooming department.

I hope I'm not rambling here, just trying to find out for sure if this is what he's doing before I confront him because if my suspicions are correct I cannot stay with him unless he gets help, I have children to think of and take care of.

Thanks for reading.

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TnSkye